Hello everyone. Some of you know, I gave a speech on "Humor in Nursing" in Las Vegas. I spoke in front of 750 other nurses and I didn't pass out or throw up! Success! At the end of my speech I shared a story with the audience. It is 100% true. I know, because I was there. I would like to share that story with you now. At the end of the story you will read 7 words that I believe everyone should live by, especially if you are a caregiver. This may be a long post, but I think you will enjoy it. So grab a snack and a drink and read on. Please do share comments on how it makes you feel, if you use it in your practice or if you have stories like this to share. I WANT to hear them!!!
For those of you who read this and don't know me.... I was a pediatric nurse at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. Clowning is a hobby. I also incorporate inner clowning in my nursing. Inner clowning is a little different than "regular" clowning. It is basically using personality traits within your heart to help you reach your patients, your coworkers, your friends, whoever! The main traits of all "inner clowns" are love, kindness and understanding. EVERY caregiver I have ever worked with has at least one of these traits. These are the traits that make us choose to be caregivers. Therefore I believe all caregivers have an inner clown within them.
This story is THE BEST inner clowning moment of my career to date! I have been a nurse for 22 years and I have seen and heard a ton of amazing things/stories. But this story is the one that resonates with me louder than any other, and I hope it resonates with you also.
So, I was working in Pre Op one day. The charge nurse asked me to give versed to a 13 year old. I said "OK". For those of you who don't know, versed is a medicine we give to kids sometimes to help them with their anxiety of surgery. It is very useful at times. We don't typically give it to 13 year olds, but sometimes 13 year olds are extremely anxious too or they have some developmental delays that prevent them from understanding what is happening to them. I don't know anything about this kid other than his name and age.
I went into exam room 4 to see him. As I walked into the room, his mom and the anesthesiologist were in the room chatting, and he was sitting on the exam table looking down at the wall. He was small for his age and clearly didn't want to have anything to do with this procedure.
I walked in as my happy nursing self and said "Hey Adam (name change), My name is Rodney and I have your medicine that is going to help you relax". He gruffly said "I don't want to drink that poison!" Whew, this was gonna be a little tougher than I thought. So, I tried to use my nursing "skills" on him by saying "I imagine you are very nervous. That is totally understandable. Most of the kids who come here are nervous and don't know what to expect. You have every right to feel that way. But that is why we have this medicine. It can help you to relax so you can get your procedure done and the anesthesiologist can do his job". He said "I don't want to drink it!!".
The anesthesiologist, who I have GREAT respect for, then said "OK Adam, you have two choices then. You can either drink this medicine to help you relax or I will have to give you a shot in the arm to help you relax. It is your choice". As caregivers, we all hate it when we have to give a kid a shot for anything. But sometimes that is what has to be done to get the procedure done. It is not a threat from the anesthesiologist, rather he is giving the kid a choice. The choices suck, but it is a choice. Adam just clammed up and kept looking down.
This was where my inner clown came out... my inner clown asked the anesthesiologist and the mom to leave the room. How do I know this was my inner clown? Besides the fact it felt like an out of body experience (Honestly!!), I as a nurse would not typically ask a doctor to leave a room, and I especially would NEVER ask a parent to leave a room and leave me alone with their child. It is unthinkable to me as a nurse. But my inner clown knew it was what was needed somehow.
Luckily the anesthesiologist and I have a good rapport, so he and the mom left the room.
This kid was scared, he was angry, he was small for his age and I am certain he is picked on a lot in his life because of his size and what seemed to be some social awkwardness. My inner clown took control of the situation and handled it perfectly. Luckily I know my inner clown well and I know when to stay out of the way. I understand this may sound hokey to some, but it truly felt like an out of body experience!
My inner clown proceeded to sit down in a chair in front of Adam. He was UP on the exam table and I was below him in a chair. My inner clown already defused some of the threat in the room by asking people to leave. By sitting down below Adam it also made Adam "bigger" and seemingly in more control. I am sure my inner clown knew this was a good thing to do. Adam still didn't look at me and I didn't look at him. He looked at the wall and I looked down at his feet, but I could see his reactions peripherally. So my inner clown said "Tell me Adam, what kind of things do you like?" I saw Adam glance at me quickly and then back to the wall. I could tell he was surprised by the question. He probably thought I was going to try and convince him to take the medicine, but my inner clown took a different route. Adam said "What do you mean?". I could tell he probably wasn't into sports with his size and awkwardness... so I said "Do you like to read? Music? Games?" He said "I like video games". My inner clown came alive and said "Cool, I love video games too". Adam had on a shirt with a video game on it. I think it was an army game of some kind, maybe Black Hawk Down or something, I really don't remember. But my inner clown referenced it and said "Is that your favorite game?". Adam looked down at his shirt and then at me and said "That is a fun game, but it is not my favorite". I said "What is?". He said "G-mod". Now I know a little about video games, but I had never heard of G-mod. So my inner clown said "I don't know that one. Tell me all about it.". Adam proceeded to explain this game. As best as I can tell it is a shootem up violent kind of game, and you can modify the scenery as you go. I don't like to promote violence of any kind, but my inner clown knew this is what Adam needed at this time. Plus it seemed like Adam was a hero killing bad guys in the game. For a violent game, it seemed relatively harmless in that context. My inner clown listened intently, interjecting questions appropriately and even being lively at times with a small chuckle here and there. Adam became a little more lively too and chuckled a little as well. I don't know what is funny about a violent video game to be honest, but my inner clown did. Adam gradually looked at me more and more and so I gradually looked at him more and more. Then the mom and the anesthesiologist popped back in and asked how we were doing. I said "We are doing great, we just need a few more minutes please". Luckily they left. In retrospect I feel this was a good interruption as my inner clown showed Adam that his story about the video game was way more important than the doctor or the time. He continued talking about the game for another minute or so. At the end we were looking each other eye to eye. Then we chuckled a little more and sat in silence for about 30 seconds or so. Finally, Adam jumped off the exam table and said "I guess I am ready now". I said "Oh, so you want to take the medicine now?". Adam said "Nah, I don't need that medicine".... and what he said next was the most profound, amazing, mind blowing thing I have ever heard in my entire career and life! It was just seven words and it blew me out of the water!! What he said was....................
"I Guess I Just Needed To Laugh"
I kid you not!! Those were his exact words!! "I guess I just needed to laugh"!! I was stunned to be honest. I always knew laughter was important and that it works, but those 7 words from that young man were the most amazing words ever!! I didn't even realize we were really laughing. Sure we chuckled a little, but not belly laughing or anything like that. So, I also learned that ANY kind of laughter is good laughter.
We walked out of the room and the mom and anesthesiologist were outside the door. Adam and I kept walking towards the procedure room talking, but I saw the mom and anesthesiologist in my periphery. They had a look on their face that said "What just happened??" It was soooo funny!
As Adam and I walked next to each other he told me a little joke and I laughed. So I decided to tell him one of my favorite jokes and he laughed. We got to the procedure room, with the anesthesiologist right behind us, and Adam hopped up on the table, laid his head down in the blue "donut" pillow. The anesthesiologist put a mask on his face and he was asleep in a minute or so. No kicking or crying, and NO medicine. It was all nice and peaceful. The anesthesiologist looked at me and said "What did you do?". I honestly replied "I have no idea!" And I really didn't at the time. A lot of this understanding came to me in retrospect and the most important thing is worth repeating one more time... I guess the kid just needed to laugh!!!
Now Go Out and Hug Someone Today AND Laugh!!
