Mothers are special

She LOVED her grandkids!

My mother was as special as they come! Even in her last few days, as she was actively dying, she gave ME gifts of comfort. Grab a drink, maybe some tissues and read on to see what I mean.


Timing is everything they say. My mom had great timing, especially in the end. I am not sure if you can truly time your own death, but it sure seemed like my mom did it! First she waited til I got home from a wonderful trip to Russia and Holland. She was doing well when I left, so I didn't think she would have died while I was gone, but you never know. When I got back to America my brother had called to tell me she wasn't doing well. I drove home on Sunday April 19th. She was not doing well, but still coherent and could eat and drink and talk to me.


Over the next few days we had some beautiful moments together. On Monday I just sat next to her holding her hand. She looked at me with such LOVING eyes and a sweet smile. She said "I am so happy you are here. I love you so much".  I know my mother loved me throughout my life, but at that very moment I felt ALL the intensity a love can show. Her look burned in my soul that day and it will be there forever. I can never thank her enough for that gift!


My mom giggled and laughed quite a bit the last few days of her life. That really did my soul some good. My mom loved to laugh, but didn't seem to have laughed as much in the past year or so that I could remember. So to see her giggle and be at peace was wonderful. She would giggle at almost anything. She giggled at herself too. She would say something confusing, then say "I am a little confused aren't I?" and then giggle about it. She knows I love to hear people laugh and especially giggle, so I am sure it was just one of many gifts she would give to me.

Nathan, Barb, Kelly and Natalie. What a fun night full of laughs!

On Tuesday she seemed a little more confused than normal. She recognized me as I sat in front of her holding her hand some more. All of sudden she stared into space. Her eyes were wide open, but she wasn't looking at me. She was looking "beyond" me... as she did, this is what she said... "Oh, hi mommy hi daddy. Yes, I can see you. Oh I love you 2 so much! Hi daddy, oh I love you daddy, you were always my buddy. Oh you look so beautiful I want to come be with you. (pause).. Ok, I'll wait." after a couple of seconds she continued "Oh, hi Jesus, Praise Jesus. Thank you for forgiving me Jesus. I love you Jesus!". Her parents died many years ago.


Those may not be her exact words, but trust me when I say it was extremely close to that word for word! It was powerful for me to witness that and again just another gift my mom gave me I feel. I knew at that moment she was going to go be with her parents AND she was HAPPY about it. She wanted to go! She had suffered long enough on this earth and it was time to go. BUT, she also controlled her timing as she told her parents "Ok, I'll wait".


Wait for what you may ask? Well, Weds. was my brother's birthday. We certainly didn't want her to die on that day if possible. She waited til the day after his birthday! Also, she died on Apr. 23rd... the same day my pappa died 14 years ago!! Maybe she was waiting for both things?


On the day of her death, the "magic" continued. She was gradually getting more and more tired and confused. At 9 am I got her to the toilet to go to the bathroom. She could barely stand or respond to me. But she made it to the bed side toilet and did her business IN the toilet. Then I helped her back to her chair.


The Hospice nurse came at 1020 and she wasn't responding. Her breathing was easy and regular, she just didn't wake up. The hospice nurse offered to send someone out to be with me/us for the "last" 24 hrs. I refused, and I am glad I did. It was a moment to be shared alone with family and friends.


At noon, she hadn't changed much from 1030, but something told me she might not last much longer. So luckily I called my brother at work and told him he might want to come home. He got permission from his boss and got home at 1:25 PM. If he hadn't left work early, he would have been home around 2:45. She died at 2:25!


I also called her sister Shirley who was in town. She and my Uncle Tommy got there around 1 pm. It was very special to have them there as well.


My friend Karen had texted earlier to ask if I needed anything. I asked her if she could bring some bottled water over, not knowing the timing of it all of course.


So, with my Aunt and Uncle at her side. My brother Todd at her side. My friend Karen at her side, and I behind her wrapping my arms around her chest. She had her last moments on earth. And it got even better!!


After I called my brother and Aunt earlier, I got my mom's bible and placed it on her lap with her hand on it. It is a beautiful bible that she had been reading the past 6 months. She hadn't read the bible in years til then. Her sister Starla gave it to her as a gift, so I am sure that prompted her to read it. But I also know my mom has always had a strong faith and she probably felt this was the time to start reading again! Timing!!

My mom reading her bible. March 23rd, before I left for Russia. 

As she started having some irregular breathing, I sensed the time was getting close. So out of nowhere I just started reading the bible to her. She had 2 bookmarks in it. One for our neighbor Kathy's favorite verse and one for her sister Starla's favorite verse. Our Uncle Tommy had told me his favorite verse has always been Psalm 23.


So, I read Kathy's favorite verse to my mom. It was Proverbs 3:5-6. It talks about Trusting in the Lord. After reading it, I kissed her on the cheek and told her that was from Kathy. Kathy has been a huge help and dear friend the past few years. So I know that made my mom feel loved and happy. She took a couple of more steady breaths...

My mom and her sister Starla

Then I read Starla's favorite verse to her. It was Psalm 121. It talks about help from the Lord. After reading that verse, I kissed her on the cheek and told her that was from Aunt Starla. Again, I know that made her smile inside and feel loved and happy. She took a couple of more steady breaths...


Then I read Psalm 23. It is probably the most well known verse in the bible. It is the one that says "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil" and so on... Well I got down to the last sentence, which I am not even sure I had ever noticed... but it reads...

"And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever"

I swear as God is my witness, as soon as I said the word forever my mom took ONE more deep breath and that was it. She died in that moment!

Now Go Out and Hug a Mother Today!!!